Random Ramblings
Over the last few weeks, I have had the unfortunate experience of numerous sleepless nights…..and baby isn’t even here yet!
Between Baby Bean being extremely active, the contractions, the pain in my pelvis and the whole being oddly shaped at the moment and finding it impossible to find a comfortable position to sleep in I am lucky if I am clocking 3 hours of actual sleep each night.
I also tend to sleep better when the Hardworking Hubby is home because then I can use his body to get comfortable too. The bad part of that is that I am lucky if I get to sleep next to him 2 nights a week given his work schedule.
Needless to say….I am tired.
24/7.
Did I mention that the heartburn and the acid reflux doesn’t help things either?
I am looking forward to this pregnancy coming to an end soon.
I find it much more rewarding to lose sleep because I am up snuggling my little one, feeding her or changing her diaper.
As things get closer to the end I am getting more and more excited to meet her.
And I am not alone.
All of the kids are super excited as well.
Tatertot cannot wait to be a big brother and was really excited to try on his big brother shirt I made him tonight. He is looking forward to actually kissing and hugging Bean and not my belly anymore.
This weekend, everyone in the family had a chance to have a little belly time with Bean. I am happy to report that she successfully punched/kicked each of them and she did it quite well.
This little lady packs quite the bunch.
Although I have been experiencing all of these sleepless nights, I have been taking advantage of it. I have had the pleasure of watching quite a few movies without anyone interrupting me.
I have scratched The Switch, Due Date, Friends with Benefits, and now onto Going the Distance. I have also managed to clear everything off of the DVR that I have been letting add up.
Oh and tonight I had the chance to FINALLY color my hair and make all of the gray go away.
Here’s hoping that tomorrow night I have the time to straighten my hair!
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Last night I fell asleep at 11pm, which for me, is a very rare occurrence. Being someone who doesn’t sleep for long periods of time, I found myself wide awake in bed at 3am.
I tried to go back to sleep but was unsuccessful.
And then I did something I very rarely get to do.
I took a shower without being interrupted by any children.
OH.
EM.
GEE.
I forgot what it was like to not have a kid in the bathroom asking questions, standing between the shower curtains talking to me as my 3 year old likes to do.
No, this morning I took a shower in absolute peace and quiet.
I stayed in that shower for 30 minutes.
I think it may be the best past of my entire week.
Not only did I shower without any kids busting in on my me time, I also watched The Switch which I have been dying to see and am currently watching Due Date and waiting for the Hardworking Hubby to get home from work.
I’m pretty sure I am going to take further advantage of this rare occasion and eat without the worry of having someone sample some of my food too.
Happy Saturday!
After watching Tanis Miller’s latest Momversation Video on school uniforms, it really got me thinking.
But, before we get to my thoughts, take a moment and go watch Tanis’ video HERE.
Okay, now that you’ve watched the video and have heard Tanis’ thoughts, here are mine.
I agree 100% with Tanis!
When I was growing up, I always hated being picked on by the other kids in my school because I didn’t have the brand name clothing that they did. To be honest, I didn’t care about the labels and was more worried that my crack wasn’t hanging out of my pants or that you could see my days of the week underwear through my clothing.
I grew up in what is considered a “wealthy” and “stuck up” school district. Other schools said bad things about us because there were some kids who were fortunate enough to have all of the things they wanted, the brand names and when the time rolled around, the nice car, (I was NOT one of these lucky kids – can we say hello I drove an 86 Chevette that the drivers side door didn’t stay closed!)
Anywho- when it came to the brand names and all of the labels the other kids had I really didn’t care. I wasn’t the type of person who judged a person by what they were wearing and in all honesty, I got along with just about everyone I went to school with.
Now, fast forward to today.
Since I’ve been out of school almost 15 years.
I have 2 children who attend public school at the middle school level. One of them is in 6th and the other in 7th.
Neither of my children ask for the name brand items. They are both perfectly happy with what they have and know that if there is something that they are just dying to have, I will do my best to provide them with it. However, when it comes to school clothes, they know mommy is cheap and to be ready for the clearance racks.
As a family of 5, soon to be 6, we are thrifty. I hate to buy things unless they are on sale and I prefer the clearance rack over anything. My children, bless their hearts, have always understood this.
As a mom, I would prefer that my kids wear uniforms to school and not because it would save our family money because seriously, they still need to have clothes to wear when not attending school. I would prefer uniforms because I hate the thought of some kid picking on one of my kids because their shoes are knock offs of the current in-style name brand or because my kid prefers to dress a certain way and another kid doesn’t like it.
As parents, we hate when others judge our children in a negative way and fear that others will hurt them. To me, making school uniforms mandatory in all schools is one way to help make all children view each other as equals and not by whose family has more money or who has the coolest outfit that day.
And that, that is my two cents!
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A friend of mine asked me today, “When do the hormones stop?”
She has a daughter who is just over 1 month old.
As moms, I’m sure we’ve all hit that point when not only handling motherhood for the first time but with subsequent childbirths as well.
When I had my first child, 11.5 years ago at the age of 20, I can honestly say that I didn’t have any real hormonal issues.
Yes, I worried that I wouldn’t be a good mom at the age of 20, let alone a single mom at the age of 20.
But somehow, I managed to get through it and I know I owe a huge part of that to my parents for having been there for me when I needed them most.
17 months after my son was born, I became a single mom to 2 at 21.
It was this pregnancy when my emotions took over.
I was 21, pregnant, a single mom and facing the impending birth of another child while my friends were all out celebrating being 21 and having the time of their lives.
During this pregnancy, I became depressed.
And worried.
And scared.
I resented not only myself, but my unborn child as well, yet, I was excited.
(If that even makes sense.)
When she was born, I was elated, yet I was overcome with emotions.
How was I going to raise two kids?
Again, I have to give props to my parents for stepping up and helping out and always being there for us.
I can admit that I hit some really, really low points after my daughter was born.
And, I did quite a few things I am not proud of.
And, I said a lot of things to a lot of people that I wish I could take back.
And, I lost a lot of friends because I let my anger and depression get the best of me.
And, I miss those friends.
I wish I could make things right between us again, and who knows, I might be able to sometime in the future.
With my 3rd pregnancy, things were both better and worse.
They were better in the aspect that I wasn’t scared and I knew that I wouldn’t have to do things alone this time.
I was (and am still) lucky to have a wonderful man by my side to support me throughout my pregnancy and knowing he would be there after the baby was born helped to lighten the load.
They were worse because I struggled with the idea of starting over with another baby and going through all the steps again.
After I delivered baby #3, things were fine.
For a little bit.
I think it was when he hit 3 weeks old that I started to notice changes in myself.
Changes like crying for no reason, or while watching TV, or reading a book, even when I was just sitting by myself in the quiet, I would cry.
Then came the anger.
Everything made me angry.
Not to mention I was exhausted.
It didn’t take much for me to get angry and bite heads off.
I would get so mad.
And then, then I got depressed.
And I ate.
And ate.
And ate.
I was exhausted, overwhelmed, lonely and about a million other words.
That’s when I realized something was definitely wrong.
I did what any mom addicted to the Internet would do.
I turned to Dr. Google.
There it was, staring back at me on the screen:
- depressed mood
- tearfulness
- inability to enjoy pleasurable activities
- trouble sleeping
- fatigue
- appetite problems
- suicidal thoughts
- feelings of inadequacy as a parent
- impaired concentration
- Decreased interest in sex
- Feelings of rejection
I had most of the symptoms of PPD.
Postpartum depression.
So, I talked to my husband about it.
Then, I called my doctor.
And was prescribed an anti-depressant.
It did help curb the mood swings and I am glad to say I no longer need it.
In addition to the meds, I did some reading.
One of the books that really helped me out landed in my hands shortly after my youngest turned one.
I had stumbled across a blog about a woman who had suffered from PPD and learned she had written a book about it.
It wasn’t a book written by an actress or a doctor.
It was written by mom.
A mom like me.
So, I read it.
And it amazed me.
To hear her story and know that I wasn’t the only one who had gone through or was going through this.
This book made me laugh.
Yes, I said laugh.
There was humor in a book about PPD.
Who knew it could be done?
I learned things from this book.
Like how to open up and talk to people about what’s going on with me.
And I recommend this book for any other women who are going through the same thing.
I still look back at that book as a reference when I’m facing a new struggle such as a mood I haven’t encountered before or just as help to get me over a bad hump.
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